Taking Care

More KnittingThis Thursday marks the one-month anniversary of my self-induced tailbone and spine drama.

I am a lot better!  However, I still have to walk slowly, lay down several times a day, try not to bend my back, sit on a special pillow, and make sure I take painkillers before bed so that I can sleep.

I’ll be honest.  I have moments of being angry with myself about this.   Luckily, I know that refusing to forgive myself over a less than brilliant idea only hurts momma.

I spent yesterday knitting on the couch.  I walk slow.  I don’t bend.  I don’t drive.  I am totally getting in touch with my inner old woman, and it is good!

After all, I’ll still be me even after my body loses all its sexiness and when it just doesn’t work as well as it does now.  This is a good realization to have actually.  Brings even more peace.

Hugs!

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Sometimes

Part of taking care of momma includes recognizing that taking a nap maybe the best use of your time.

Take a nap if you can.  Sleep cures many problems.

That’s my helpful hint for the day.  I’m off to nap!

Much Love,

 

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Sweaters?

Knitting

The Midwest is finally cold.  Brr…

I realized over the weekend that most of my Old Navy sweaters from 4 years ago are falling apart.  Since my youngest is now in first grade, I’m thinking maybe it’s time to go ahead and invest in sweaters that could last longer than a few years.

I never thought it was a good idea to spend money on nicer clothes while the kids were little since they were all destined for stains and such.  Suddenly though, I see a brief light at the end of the Old Navy and Target tunnel.

However, I don’t know where to shop.

The biggest clothing store in my little town is a Kohls, and all of their sweaters are very thin.   They are great for spring.  But, it’s 19 degrees outside, and momma gets cold.

I tried Macy’s yesterday, but it’s the middle of January so everything seems to be picked over.  I found one I just loved, but when I tried it on it seemed cheap.

I’m going to attempt to knit one.  Knitpicks has pretty affordable bulky wool, but it will probably take me a while and there is a chance I could mess it up.  I am excited though.  I’ve only ever knitted scarves before.  Hooray for trying new things.

In the meantime, do you know of a good store or website that has nice looking warm sweaters?    I mean, what’s the purpose of having a blog if I can’t ask for advice once and a while – right?  Would love to hear!

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Welcome Chinese New Year

China Festive Garden

Does January always feel like the longest month to you?  For me, it just seems to drag on and on.   I’m sure it has something to do with the holiday let down and going to back to work, but I try to look at it in a different way.  January is my month of recovery and examination.

I have kids at home.   The holidays exhaust me!    The only thing I want to do on New Year’s Eve is drink champagne and sleep.

I am simply never in any place to make New Year’s Resolutions.  So I try to take January lightly.   I get back into the swing and gently think about what I want to change.   Then, when I have had several weeks of rest, I am ready to get motivated and set some intentions.

So far this year, I have been recovering physically all of January from my very embarrassing fall.  I am feeling quite a bit better this week though, and now I have  time to think about the new year.

Chinese New Year is Monday, January 23.

I really prefer the Chinese New Year from a scheduling perspective.   It’s another chance to use the energy of a new year to make change without the holiday stress.

2012 is the Year of the Water Dragon.  Dragons are lucky!

Chinese Astrology tells us that this next year will be more exciting and energetic than the last.  The energy of water should naturally cool the dragon’s fiery nature a bit.   That sounds pretty good.  Okay – except for all the election crap that’s coming.  Ah well – I’ll just keep my TV off.  It will be easier that way.

How about you?  Are you in a better place to make resolutions mid-January?

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Beautiful Story – Yellow Roses

This just landed in my email from a friend and former client.  It is lovely!

Too good not to share with you.  Loved it!

Yellow Roses

I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying groceries. I wasn’t hungry. The pain of losing my husband of 57 years was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories.

He often came with me and almost every time he’d pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew what he was up to. I’d always spot him walking down the aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands.

He knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even grocery shopping was different since he had passed on.

Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two..
Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and remembered how he had loved his steak.

Suddenly a woman came beside me. She was blonde, slim and lovely in a soft green pantsuit. I watched as she picked up a large package of T-bones, dropped them in her basket.. hesitated, and then put them back… She turned to go and once again reached for the pack of steaks.

She saw me watching her and she smiled. “My husband loves T-bones, but honestly, at these prices, I don’t know.”

I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale blue eyes.

“My husband passed away eight days ago,” I told her. Glancing at the package in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice. “Buy him the steaks. And cherish every moment you have together.”

She shook her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she placed the package in her basket and wheeled away.

I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the dairy products. There I stood, trying to decide which size milk I should buy. A Quart, I finally decided and moved on to the ice cream. If nothing else, I could
always fix myself an ice cream cone.

I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the aisle toward the front. I saw first the green suit, then recognized the pretty lady coming towards me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was the brightest smile I had ever seen. I would swear a soft halo encircled her blonde hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding mine.

As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my eyes. “These are for you,” she said and placed three beautiful long stemmed yellow roses in my arms. “When you go through the line, they will know these are paid for.” She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek, then smiled again. I wanted to tell her what she’d done, what the roses meant, but still unable to speak, I watched as she walked away as tears clouded my vision.

I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue wrapping and found it almost unreal. How did she know?
Suddenly the answer seemed so clear. I wasn’t alone.

Oh, you haven’t forgotten me, have you? I whispered, with tears in my eyes. He was still with me, and she was his angel.

Every day be thankful for what you have and who you are.
(Please read all of this, it is really nice)

This is a simple request. If you appreciate life, send this to your friends, including the person that sent it to you. (See, I told you it was an email.)

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings..
Thank you, Lord, that I can hear.
There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible.
Thank you, Lord, That I can see.
Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising.
Thank you, Lord, that I have strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, tempers are short, and my children are so loud.

Thank you, Lord, for my family.
There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the picture in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced.

Thank you, Lord, for the food we have.
There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous.
Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest.

Thank you, Lord, for life.

Pass this on to the friends you know. It might help a bit to make this world a better place to live, right? A friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift. A friend is someone to treasure.

For friendship is a gift. A friend is someone who fills our lives with Beauty, Joy and Grace and makes the world we ! live in a better and happier place.

YOU ARE MY FRIEND!
God bless you and yours.

Much Love,

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Releasing Frustration

Empty Feeder
I am really, really, really frustrated.  I had a nasty cold the week before Christmas, and I got hurt the day after.  I’ve been down for a while, and I’m getting sick of it.

I really want to re-fill my bird feeders, do laundry, make bread, vacuum the living room, and make dinner.  Domestic crap sounds so good right now, because I cannot do any of it.

This morning I was determined to wear something other than yoga pants and a sweatshirt.  So I did.  I showered, dressed in nice clothes, and applied make-up for the first time in a month.  I was even able to put my own socks on without too much pain.  It felt great!  I felt human again.

As I was leaning over finishing my mascara, I felt that hot “poink” of a pinched nerve in my sprained back. (Yes, in addition to my tailbone injuries, I also have a sprained back.)  Ouch!  Darn it!

Apparently, I am too hurt to put on make-up still.  It’s been over a week.  Arrg!

My husband is doing everything, but I know it’s starting to wear on him as well.  Except for Christmas Day, he’s been taking care of everything for almost a month.  He gets upset with me when I push myself, because he’s afraid I will make it worse and take longer to heal.  I get upset with him because I want to feel like part of the family even though I’m hurt.

I am frustrated with how long this is taking.  I miss my ability to do flipping housework.  What’s up with that?

This runs deep.  I was raised on a steady diet of “Work – Achieve – Work Harder – Achieve More.”  I have worked hard (Ha!) healing this and changing this belief.  I am now able to recognize bad moods as signs that self-care is needed.  I now understand that taking care of yourself is not selfish.  I now know that accepting bad feelings instead of running away from them helps them release.

And yet, I am still frustrated with my current inability to work.

This is okay.  It is okay that I feel frustrated.  It is understandable.

Instead of feeling bad for feeling frustrated, it starts to release when I tell myself it’s okay to feel this way.

It’s like a lightening of my chest.  That angry, weighted-down feeling is gone.  So much better.  And truly, now I don’t want to clean my house so much.  Whew!  Now I recognize myself in here.  Ha!

I know that my injuries will heal eventually.  I am grateful for that.

Try this out when you feel frustrated.  It’s easy, and it works!

We will go into A LOT MORE detail about how accept your own difficult emotions in Week 4 of Everyday Peace.  The next online workshop starts January 23 – on Chinese New Year.  Sign up by January 20th to reserve your spot!

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The world is ending

Hand and flowers

Last week, my daughter attended a birthday party for a friend she doesn’t see too often.  She came home in tears.

Apparently, upon arrival at the restaurant, all the attendees (5th grade girls) got out their phones and started texting each other across the tables.

Of course my daughter does not have a phone.  She’s 11!

I told a friend this story and without missing a beat, she replied, “The world is ending.”

Do you think that the ancient Mayans, in their wisdom, saw into the year 2012 and saw this happening?

  • Children who should be giggling and telling secrets – instead sit across from each other at a party and interact through their cell phones.
  • Grown-ups, sitting in the front row of the World Series, staring down at their mobile devices instead of watching the game in front of them.
  • Rows of blue lighted phones sitting next to beers at bars – people constantly checking facebook and twitter updates instead of talking to their friends.

Sigh…

I realize that the Mayan calendar ends this December, and that a new era just starts the next day.

I realize that children need to live in their generation.

I realize that smartphones can be helpful and some even have relaxation apps and such.

I know there are mindful ways to use technology.

I still think children need childhoods, not cell phones.

Part of me is really upset at the parents who think it’s a good idea, but I don’t walk in their shoes.  I don’t know their pain or their worry.   I cannot judge.

The only constant in this life is change.  This one is bugging me today.

Although, I will say, it was an excellent opportunity to talk about inner strength with my big girl.  I think she was listening.

I know it hurt.  I know it’s embarrassing to feel left out.  I guess it has to happen sooner or later though.

It happened to me.  It happened to all of us – right?  You have to know pain to build character – right?  I am hoping so today.

 

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Frustrated to Grateful

Basket of Yarn

It’s been 3 days since I broke my tailbone trying to be silly.  It still hurts a lot.  In fact, I’m hoping the chiropractor will be able to do something for the pain later this afternoon.  It’s frustrating to be moving so slowly, but I am playing with the idea of embracing this experience.

It is difficult to go to the flipping bathroom without help, but I am not paralyzed.  Things I am grateful for right this second include:

  • I am still alive.
  • My pantry is still full.
  • My daughter has learned how to do laundry.  (Hallelujah!)
  • My husband is doing everything else while still going to work.
  • My son has learned how to make sandwiches.
  • Twice this week, my children have played by themselves, in their rooms for over 3 hours.  (??!!)
  • The advil is starting to kick in as I type this.

Of course I am frustrated, but it is interesting that it happened this week.  I had no plans.  I was going to work on soul restoration all week, and I am still able to do that.   In fact, I’m unable to do much else.  So far I have knitted a headband and cowl for myself and read two books.  I might even break out the paints later this afternoon if I can reach them.

Would I have done these things if I had been more mobile and pain-free?  Maybe not.

I have come around to being very grateful for my car accident.  Even as I lost some mental ability and speed with it, I gained clarity and purpose. My life is better.

This time, even my silly broken tailbone is bringing good things.  Funny how that happens when you look for it.  Yes?

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Broken

Let me paint a picture for you:

Yesterday, my family had an adventure.  We started at our local history museum.  It was really boring for the children, but hubbie and I felt good  “exposing” them to our area’s rich history.  Bwa ha ha – it’s fun to be the parents.

Next we headed out for a really nice lunch at a trendy Peruvian restaurant downtown complete with bottled root beer – oh yeh!  Of course we made them try yucca fries.  Bwa ha ha – again!

While at lunch, I decided to celebrate St. Stephen’s Day by having a glass of Delirium Tremens with my Loma Saltado sandwich.  Fun!  It was so good.  And, so was the second glass. (Note: I didn’t know that this beer is named after a severe form of alcohol withdrawal.  I think that’s in bad taste actually.  It’s too bad it’s so good.)

We arrived home and my hubbie went downstairs to do a little bit of work.  I also went downstairs to check on some laundry when the Christmas hippity-hop caught my eye.  Lightbulb!  I am not normally all that silly and playful.  Wouldn’t it be fun to surprise hubbie (and thank him for driving home) bouncing into the office on the hippity hop?  It seemed like a great idea.  I climbed on.

Exactly what happened next will forever be a mystery since no one witnessed the event.  All I know is that I attempted to bounce forward.  Instead, the ball went forward, and I went backwards landing right on my ass.

My tailbone is now broken.  It hurts like a hummahumma.

Now, I have some choices about how I am going to feel about this:

  1. Feel like a complete idiot.  Not only did I hurt myself while tipsy, but it was on a flipping bouncy ball.  What was I thinking?  I’m such an idiot!
  2. Try to laugh it off.  I mean, it is kind of funny…I guess.
  3. Be gentle and accept myself – poor choices, character flaws and all.
  4. Look for the learning opportunity in all of this.
  5. Relax, take care of my ass and move on.

I’m working on it, but I will admit that #1 keeps coming back occasionally today.  I must be human.

How was your holiday?

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3 days until Christmas

Peaceful Mommas Santa

3 days until Christmas and there’s much left to wrap

I sit on my couch and I cough and I nap

The children are nestled all snuggly at school

And I here at home try quite hard to stay cool

This cold holds me down, and my work has been stopped

Stockings are hung but the floor is not mopped

The work will get done, I keep telling myself

My body needs rest to regain proper health

And I know this, I do, but it can be so hard

To let go and flow, without being on guard

I am not alone, I again say to me

There is grace in relaxing; it’s good to just be

So I with my laptop, from this humble poem

Say Take Care at Christmas since Peace Start at Home

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