I was running errands the other day when I realized how much I adore this song by Queen. It spoke to me in a very personal way, and I’ve been trying to figure out why ever since. After I listened to it five times, I decided I wanted it played at my funeral.
Then I can home and googled the lyrics. It became quite clear after that that Mr. Mercury is talking about a high end prostitute – most likely a drag queen. Okay never mind about the funeral thing.
What I really just adore about the killer queen character is her dichotomy. This lady is refined, extraordinarily nice, and also dynamite with a laser beam, guaranteed to blow your mind. (Anytime.) How I didn’t see the hooker thing I just don’t know. Oh well.
Upon massive reflection, it occurred to me that this is how I am and want to be. I want to be a firebrand peaceful momma.
Firebrand peaceful momma? That makes no sense. I can’t have all that fire. I need to strive to be calm, smooth, sweet, peaceful, and zen at all times.
The problem is, I don’t really feel fully alive when I’m trying so hard to be zen and calm. Feeling fully alive, for me, requires being fiery at times. (Perhaps you too?)
And that’s why inner peace is misunderstood. It means being at peace (not at war) with who you are. It doesn’t mean sitting in meditation all day and never getting angry. See the difference?
It may not make sense at first, but it is beautifully balanced. This idea is kind of like the Buddhist mandate of seeing what is true, accepting what is true, and still fighting for change. On the surface, it seems mutually exclusive. Only after much deepening does it make sense.
I think this is one of the reasons all the school issues have been so right up my alley. I love fighting for a cause! It’s a joy and it makes me feel so alive to work hard at making a difference. And it’s fine. It’s part of who I am.
At first I didn’t understand how it fit in with my peaceful momma practices. But now I do.
Thanks Freddie Mercury. You helped me figure it out. How great is that?